Miscellaneous Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Young

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. - Joe Namath

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you.- Winston Churchill

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out. - Unknown

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal