Visit to millionaire's house

I recently paid a visit to a millionaire's house and this is what happened....

Question: "What would you like to have..... Fruit juice, Soda,Tea,
Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please"

Question: "Ceylontea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?"
Answer: "Ceylontea"

Question: "How would you like it? Black or white?"
Answer: "White"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?"
Answer: "With milk."

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please."

Question: "Milk from Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: "Uhmm. I will take it black."

Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"

Question:" Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar"

Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Walau! Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water?"
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored?"
Answer: "Gee! I give up, just forget about everything."

A nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."

She looked at him with confusion. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

"Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'Oh God, I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

If camera phones were made 20 years ago, they will look like this:

Now who is smarter?

Four MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for
the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went
up to the dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and
on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the
car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the
test.

The Dean was a just person so he said that you can have a retest
after three days.

After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they
appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special
condition all four were required to be in separate rooms for the
test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days. The
test consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.

Q1. Write down your Name.(2 marks)

Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks)

Things to do to your colleague when he / she goes for vacation...

How business is done!

A businessman, talks to his son
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride".
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case..."
Next Jack approaches Bill Gates
Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case..."
Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case....."

This is how business is done!!

Powerderful Engrish...

Probably the most creative graveyard found in the world...

In a hotel...

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.

After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue,
and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a
room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the
road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill
for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the Charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't
worth $350.

When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on
speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available
for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them", the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and
Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we
didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised
when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made
out for $50."


"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my
wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."

Why Are Men Happier?

(Another one found in one of my old emails)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never get pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $9.90 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

My Father's The Best

Three boys were bragging about their fathers. The first one said, "My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running, and get there before the arrow!"

The second one said, "That's nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running, and get there before the bullet!"

The third boy just smiled. "That's nothing. My father is a civil servant. He gets off work at 5 and is home before 4!"

Wahahaha!!!

But first....

...Disclaimer: Expecting this to be a blog? Not quite, in fact I am not really into blogging business. Just borrowing the concept of the blogging platform to publish and share some of the many jokes / funny stuffs which were exposed to me via various media.

Do come back often. I promise I try to update this 'blog' as soon as I can...

Enjoy!!!