How to do business with two cows - Interntional Business skills

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called ' Cowkimon ' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don ' t know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them and hope to have more cows.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. The two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu

More Sardarji jokes

Sardarji joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardarji: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Two Men & A Lady


Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.

Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They both had the lady TOGETHER.

Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.

Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.
- The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.

Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.

Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.

Two Malaysian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The lady ACCUSED the first man of sodomizing the other because she was rejected by both.

Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
- The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.

These are cute!!!

Q: Why has the Indian Football Team never won the World Cup?
A: Because every time they get a corner, they'd set up a mama stall.

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

" What did you get?" asked his father.

" My marks are under water," said the boy.

" What do you mean 'under water'?"

" They are all below 'C' level !"

They say one can sell anything on ebay. Here is one instance...

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Luv Ya, Mama

In Malaysia, an Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on theIndian, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present, asked him what happened. "Well," said the Indian, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Chinese and the Malay and I were standing at the gates of heaven.

An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50 and the next thing I knew I was back here. "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them" replied the Indian, "the Chinese was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for his."

More Creative Cakes

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardarji: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardarji: Which part??? Whole body was born in India.

Creative cakes

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.